On Keir Stammer’s To-Do List
By ’Tunji Ajibade
Chairman: Terrible week.
Member: How do you mean?
Chairman: You know.
Member: I thought everything went according to your plan.
Chairman: In a way, but not...
Boris Shot Elephant
By ’Tunji Ajibade
1st Person: Boris Johnson shot elephant lately.
2nd Person: It’s more than elephant.
1st Person: Exactly! (stops, thoughtful) What do you mean? In fact,...
Mr Erdogan is singing, sshhh
By
’Tunji Ajibade
1st Person: This documentary must be grand.
2nd Person: Nothing is anything if it’s not grand where you're concerned.
1st Person: Exactly! (thoughtful) What do...
Team Boris and Team Rishi
By
’Tunji Ajibade
Labour Party headquaters
MP 1: Did you watch their meeting on TV?
MP 2: Meeting? No.
MP1: Um, sorry, I meant a conference, in Bournemouth. Supporters...
Labour? I’ll tell you their second name
By
’Tunji Ajibade
You say they are leaked data, right? Well, it’s your moment; call them what you like. You might even tell me the Watergate...
You Heard The Tories Called Us Softy, Didn’t You?
By
’Tunji Ajibade
Don’t ask me questions about it because you already know the answer. Don’t bother to– Uh? You say you don’t? That must be...
We’ll sacrifice for you, Saied!
By
’Tunji Ajibade
It’s your newspaper that wrote that power grab is my response to Tunisia’s challenges, isn’t it? Well, now that you are here I...
I’m Nerandra Modi, I brook no nonsense
By
’Tunji Ajibade
Any further mention of Ashis Nandy and I will have you thrown out of this press briefing. This is no place to make...
Jair Is A Messiah
By
’Tunji Ajibade
You must be the only journalist in the whole of the United States who doesn’t know my full name. Jair Messias. If you...
King Trump And The Salesman
By
’Tunji Ajibade
You see, the Arabians don’t think in terms of president and prime minister. So they can’t have respect for you unless you are...
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Vacancy at Westminster
By ’Tunji Ajibade
You can’t ask me that kind of question, you can’t. And if you keep telling me it’s your job to ask questions...
Gen. Muhoozi’s street credible
By ’Tunji Ajibade
That’s an excellent question. But I have to unbundle it as it’s a twenty-in-one question like those tea beverage concoctions that they...
Hollywood Star In D.C.
By ’Tunji Ajibade
Wait, Dan, wait a moment; I call this press briefing to unveil the portrait of the First Lady, Melania. So I won’t...